开放式天马小队 第十六次作业截至9月2日24点欢迎新人加入[回帖加入请占两层]
[size=5][b][u][color=#ff0000]作业结构：2A+2I高频继续循环，并加入次高频，如果觉得2A太辛苦，各位可斟酌二选一，另一以checklist形式提交互改。并提醒各位Ｇ友坚持列完所有的Ａ提纲，以及大部分的Ｉ提纲
[/color]规则：
[/u][/b]与之前相同，即按发帖先后顺序，甲乙互改，丙丁互改，依此类推。每人占两楼，作业贴发布后，紧接着再占一楼以备改文，以确保队形不乱。从布置作业起3日内为限，大家量力而行，无法一次交全的可以陆续编辑原帖。
但鉴于这是公开互改平台，[u][color=darkred]请大家发作业贴时至少先贴一篇作业出来，以便于先交作业的同学先开始改。[/color][color=darkred]同时可以[/color][color=darkred][b]发站内消息提醒你的partner给你改文章，或敦促他/她完成作业。[/b][/color][/u][/size]
[size=5][color=red]请各位改作业时数清楼号，标明改几楼的，避免混乱和遗漏！
[u][b]禁止用空的作业贴占位（其实这样没意义的），以免队伍顺序混乱，互改时找不到明确的partner。否则取消空帖子的排队。[/b][/u][/color][/size]
[size=5][color=blue]请诸位交作业时将issue提纲 & argument checklist一并贴出, 使他人更直观地看出你的思路。毕竟两人之间的互改收获有限，列写思路提纲有利于所有组员都能博采众家之长。 而且share有助于攒RP，嗯。::81 [/color][/size]
６Ｇ时候的样板帖子：[url=thread-1024659-1-1.html]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1015662-1-20.html[/url]
[size=4][color=darkorange]第一次作业：A2+A17+I4+I7[/color][/size]:[url=thread-1083717-1-1.html]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1083717-1-1.html[/url]
第二次作业：A38+A45+I11+I17：[url=thread-1085154-1-3.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1085154-1-3.html[/url]
第三次作业：A47+A51+I36+I38：[url=thread-1088109-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1088109-1-1.html[/url]
[size=3][font=微软雅黑][b]第四次作业：A53+A65+I41+I47：[/b][/font][/size]http://bbs.taisha.org/thread-1089480-1-2.html
第五次作业：[size=3][color=black]A67+A71+I48+I50：[url=thread-1092499-1-2.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1092499-1-2.html[/url]
[size=6][color=darkorange][size=4][color=black]第六次作业：A117+A131+I51+I83：[url=thread-1095481-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1095481-1-1.html[/url][/color][/size]
[size=3][color=black]第七次作业：A137+A140+I87+I103：[url=thread-1100087-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1100087-1-1.html[/url]
===============至此4日4篇作业速度================
第八次作业:[url=thread-1100524-1-2.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1100524-1-2.html[/url]
第九次作业A147+A163+I141+I144：[url=thread-1104290-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1104290-1-1.html[/url]
[/color][/size][/color][/size][/color][/size][size=3][color=Black]第十次作业：A170+A174+I147+I150:[url=thread-1107871-1-2.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1107871-1-2.html[/url]
[/color][/size][size=4][color=Black]第十一次作业：A177+A200+I152+I154[/color][/size]:[url=thread-1111369-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1111369-1-1.html[/url]
[size=4]
[/size][size=4][color=black][color=darkorange][color=black][color=darkorange][color=Black]第十二次作业：A216+A220+I185+I208：[url=thread-1114964-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1114964-1-1.html[/url]
[/color]
[size=4][color=Black]第十三次作业：A26+A42+31+43[/color][/size][/color][/color][/color][/color][/size]:[url=thread-1117939-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1117939-1-1.html[/url]
第十四次作业：[font=Times New Roman][size=4][color=Black]argument２+ argument17+issue4+issue7[/color][/size][/font]：[url=thread-1120270-1-1.html]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1120270-1-1.html[/url]
第十五次作业：A38+A45+I11+I17：[url]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/thread-1124100-1-1.html[/url]
[size=6][color=DarkOrange]第16次作业：[/color][/size][size=6][color=DarkOrange]Argument47+Argument51+Issue36+Issue38[/color][/size]
ARGUMENT47 - Scientists studying historical weather patterns havediscovered that in the mid-sixth century, Earth suddenly becamesignificantly cooler. Although few historical records survive from thattime, some accounts found both in Asia and Europe mention a dimming ofthe sun and extremely cold temperatures. Either a huge volcaniceruption or a large meteorite colliding with Earth could have created alarge dust cloud throughout Earth's atmosphere that would have beencapable of blocking enough sunlight to lower global temperaturessignificantly. A large meteorite collision, however, would probablycreate a sudden bright flash of light, and no extant historical recordsof the time mention such a flash. Some surviving Asian historicalrecords of the time, however, mention a loud boom that would beconsistent with a volcanic eruption. Therefore, the cooling wasprobably caused by a volcanic eruption.
ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep somepatients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. Thishypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of twogroups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated formuscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sportsmedicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Theirrecuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typicallyexpected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton,a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patientsbelieved they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation timewas not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who arediagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibioticsas part of their treatment."
ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."
ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as importantas it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as theycan by reading books." 我加，QQ：981327493，何时交作业？ 我9月11考
我9月10号考
[font=Calibri][font=Calibri][color=red]TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter. [/color][/font][font=Calibri][color=red][/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=red]"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=red]WORDS: 486
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2008-8-31 10:31:08[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=darkslateblue]提纲：1.作者假定二次感染一定发生，无论是否severe[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=darkslateblue]2.假定二次感染会妨碍healing和使用抗生素有效，抗生素副作用？[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=darkslateblue]3.实验存在疑问[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri]In the article, the author recommends that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, since sconndary may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. To support his recommendation, the author also cites a preliminary results of s study of two group of patients with muscle strain. However, the recommendation made by the author relies on a series of problematic assumptions and evidences ,which render it uncomvincing as it stand.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]A threshold problem of the argument is that the author unfairly asumed that every patients who diagnosed with muscle strain would be suffer from those secondary infections, no matter whether they are diagnosed with severe muscle strain or just slight one. Even the information and the number of kind of the seconed infections are failed to be infromed. Without any evidence that every cases of patients diagnosed with muscle strain would affirmly suffer from such scondary infection which woud keep patients from healing quickly after, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the patient must take the antibiotics as as part of their treatment.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]Even if the every patients who diagnosed with muscle strain would be suffer from those secondary infections, the rencommedation remains problematic since the author relies on a unfair assumption that the every kinds of scondary infection would keep patients healing and taking the antibiotic can help to the better such situation. However, the author fails to provide any evidences
antibiotic is panacea in any kinds of secondary infections, it is entirely possible that patient who take inproper antibiotic would do harm to his healing.
Without any evidences and infromation about the antibiotic, the rencommedation is questionable as it stands.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]The third problem is that the processing and result of study are problematic as it stands. The author fails to inform us the information of the two group of paitents, such as their ages, degrees of their muscle strain, and the medical care levels of their doctors. Without these information, itis entirely possilble that the group of patients treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, are much avergely younger than the other group. Also it is possible that patients of Dr. Newland's group suffer from less severer than the ones of other group. Finally, the different medical care levels and treatment methods provided by the Dr. Newland and Dr. Alton may be responsable to the different results of the two groups. In short, if any of these possibilities is proved it be trued, the result of the study would be totally underminded.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]In sum, as it stands the recommendation is wholly unpersuasive. To better support it, the author should provide more information about the different kinds of secondary infections, and provide clear evidence that secondary infections are caused by every kinds of muscle strain and finally keep every patients from healing quickly. In addition, the pesticide effect and side-effect of the antibiotic should be clearly provided.
[/font]
[font=Calibri][color=red]TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 510 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-9-2 15:18:58[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=darkslateblue]提纲：观点：作为改变现代人生活方式的新技术的代表，TV能使人们更方便和直接地得到资讯和知识。但是TV有其不如书本的地方，使其无法取代书本的重要性。[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=darkslateblue]1.TV能使人们更方便和直接地得到资讯和知识。[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=#483d8b]2.书本具有方便容易携带，能随时随地地看和反复看，能比较直接地表达作者的思想。[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri][color=#483d8b]3.虽然能把某些书籍的内容拍成电影放到屏幕上，但是它毕竟经过导演和演员主观的再创作，未必能真正反映原作者的思想。[/color][/font]
[font=Calibri]The industrial revolution completely change human life and hence new tenologies have never been more important than that in any time in the history. Then, as an example of technological change impacting the way in which people share and communicate, television is playing a more important role in people's learning than any other methods, including the our traditional one--reading books, as the speaker concludes. I concede that in a few respect the newer technology can serve as substitutes for books, nonetheless, only poor substitutes for ever when it comes to learning.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]We noted earily that a significant of modern science is its contrubution to the rapid pace of modern human life. As an important example of new technology, television statisfies the need of mordern people's rapid pace of obtaining imformation conveniencely. By merely turning on the power and swiching different channels, peopel can easily and directly obtain kenowledge and experiences from those programs. Also, the television can provide a more accure and convincing record than books. For example, it is impossible for anyone, no matter how keen an observer and skilled a journalist, to recount in complete and objective details such events as ceremony of fouding of P.R.China in 1949 beijing. But now we can watch that on the TV programs.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]However, the speaker overlooks a series of repects that books outweight television programs. A freshold excellence of books is that books are more portable than TV set, which render we more easier to learn in any time and any occasion. Moreover, books do not break, and they do not depend on electrcity and betteries, or access to airwave or cableconnections. And last but not least, the books readily enable readers to review and crossreference materel, while television can not. Think about it, it sounds ironical even absure that when we are writting papers and in need of some references in the researching field, we have to sit on the televsion to watch video record and summarize viewpoints and ideas of the productors.[/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]Another compelling argument against the speaker 's claim has to do with the ideas and informations presented in the video records. One reason of those who render television as substitutes for books is idea and stories in the books such as fictions, novels, or other literatures can be interpreted as a new artstic form of performing--films-- on the screen to present all the same content in the books. I appreciate these kind of new recreation, which enable people to obtain new experience and excitement, no less than reading a new book. However, one problem has been ignored that the productors and actors of films have their own subjectivity, which affects the processes of their "interpretion" of the original literture and even distorts the idea of that.Therefore, it is dubious for the audience to obtain the same experience as reading books. [/font]
[font=Calibri][/font]
[font=Calibri]In sum, television programs and video records might be more efficiency and effective than books as a mean of obtaining newly imformation when people are eating breakfast in the living room. However, books facillitate learning in several ways that televidion cannot, which render them irreplaceable thoughout our lifetime of learning. [/font]
[/font]
[[i] 本帖最后由 mlchen850622 于 2008-9-3 08:48 编辑 [/i]] 由于身在美国，时差的缘故，可能会迟半日交作文，请见谅！！！
终于发现了，天马队长的出题是北美JJ？
[[i] 本帖最后由 mlchen850622 于 2008-9-2 03:29 编辑 [/i]] [quote]原帖由 [i]wangqiuxiang[/i] 于 2008-8-30 00:04 发表 [url=http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=12656706&ptid=1127831][img]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
我加，QQ：981327493，何时交作业？ [/quote]
2日凌晨，或者是后面的一天左右……希望你能及时……最近在学校里，所以回复晚了。 [quote]原帖由 [i]mlchen850622[/i] 于 2008-8-30 12:08 发表 [url=http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=12660725&ptid=1127831][img]http://edu.taisha.org/bbs/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
由于身在美国，时差的缘故，可能会迟半日交作文，请见谅！！！
终于发现了，天马队长的出题是北美JJ？ [/quote]
总频,应该是包括了北美部分的出题频率统计的.
6g的时候使用,觉得还是比较有用的.
mlchen同学真的很努力!
======================done!
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter. [/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=red]"Doctors have long suspected that secondaryinfections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe musclestrain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a studyof two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated formuscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine,took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation timewas, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in thesecond group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were givensugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Theiraverage recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, allpatients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to takeantibiotics as part of their treatment."[/color]
[color=red]WORDS: 486
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2008-8-31 10:31:08[/color]
[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]提纲：[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]1.[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]作者假定二次感染一定发生，无论是否[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]severe[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=darkslateblue]2.[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]假定二次感染会妨碍[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]healing[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]和使用抗生素有效，抗生素副作用？[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=darkslateblue]3.[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]实验存在疑问[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]
In the article, the author recommends that all patients with muscle strainshould take antibiotics as part of their treatment, since [color=red]secondary [/color]may keep some patients from healing quicklyafter severe muscle strain. To support his recommendation, the author alsocites [color=red]a preliminary results[/color] of s study of twogroup of patients with muscle strain. However, the recommendation made by theauthor relies on a series of problematic assumptions and evidences, whichrender it [color=red]uncomvincing [/color]as it stand[color=red]s[/color].//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]注意一些[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]argument[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]中踢过的一些单词的拼写错误，还有标点的错误。应该尽量避免哦[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]~
[b]A threshold problem of the argument isthat the author unfairly as[color=red]s[/color]umed that everypatients who diagnosed with muscle strain would be suffer from those secondaryinfections, no matter whether they are diagnosed with severe muscle strain orjust slight one. [/b]Even the information and the number of kind of the [color=red]seconded/secondary[/color] infections are failed to be [color=red]infromed[/color]. Without any evidence that every cases ofpatients diagnosed with muscle strain would affirmly/[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]有这个词否。。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]be sure to [/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]suffer from such [color=red]scondary [/color]infectionwhich woud keep patients from healing quickly after, the author cannotjustifiably conclude that the patient must take the antibiotics as as part oftheir treatment.//ts[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]建议在第二局中强调一下，[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]all [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]和[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]onlythe severe [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]两者内涵上的差别，点一下[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]the patients of slight musclestrain [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]可能是不需要为此问题而忧虑的，因而这个论据推论到结论中存在很大的问题——即使这个观点正确也无法推理到最后的那个建议[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]= =[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
Even if the [color=red]every patients/[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]？[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]whodiagnosed with muscle strain would be suffer from those secondary infections,the [color=red]rencommedation[/color] remains problematic since theauthor relies on a unfair assumption that the every kinds of scondary infectionwould keep patients healing and taking the antibiotic can help to the bettersuch situation. //[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]个人认为这里可以不用为第一个问题来让步一下，因为前面一段的问题已经十分明显，所以直接继续攻击就可以了，撤掉[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]even if[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的假设。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]However,the author fails to provide any evidences antibiotic is panacea in any kinds ofsecondary infections, it is entirely possible that patient who take inproperantibiotic would do harm to his healing. Without any evidences and [color=red]infromation [/color]about the antibiotic, the rencommedationis questionable as it stands.//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]感觉这个错误并没有下面的关于实验对象，也就是[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]proof[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]部分来得更为重要，建议滞后。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[b][font=Calibri][size=7pt]The third problem is that theprocessing and result of study are problematic as it stands. [/size][/font][/b][font=Calibri][size=7pt]The author fails toinform us the information of the two group of paitents, such as their ages,degrees of their muscle strain, and the medical care levels of their doctors. Withoutthese information, itis entirely possilble that the group of patients treatedfor muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, are much [color=red]avergely[/color]younger than the other group. [i]Also it ispossible that patients of Dr. Newland's group suffer from less severer than theones of other group[color=red].[/color][/i][color=red]/[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]其实这句话倒是写不写无所谓……[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt] Finally, the different medical care levels andtreatment methods provided by the Dr. Newland and Dr. Alton may be responsableto the different results of the two groups. In short, if any of thesepossibilities is proved it be trued, the result of the study would be totallyunderminded.
[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]参考的一些问题。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]==[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]〉试验的对比的条件模糊，这个可能影响到整个试验结论的价值[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]/[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]个人感觉这个一定要指出，因为首先要指以的就是这俄[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]results of a study[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的客观性，该[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]argument[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]就是以此[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]result [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]作为基础的[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]/[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]以前说过，对于[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]argument[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的批驳必须要按照重要性来定[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]a.
[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]医师在[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]experience[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]上的存在差别[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt];[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]一个可能更善于治疗该疾病。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]b.
[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]两组实验对象上的差别，比如更年轻，或者是更加健康等等因素[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]c.
[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]比较[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]preliminaryresult.[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]也因而说明这个试验目前得到的结论可能非常不可靠。有可能进一步的观察会推翻目前的结论也说不定。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=7pt]这段其实可以写得更加丰满一些的……[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]第三段引入关于抗生素的安全性问题的质疑等。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
In sum, as it stands the recommendation is wholly unpersuasive. To bettersupport it, the author should provide more information about the differentkinds of secondary infections, and provide clear evidence that secondaryinfections are caused by every kinds of muscle strain and finally keep everypatients from healing quickly. In addition, the pesticide effect andside-effect of the antibiotic should be clearly provided.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]好好着墨一下[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]a[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的写法，另外一些低级错误要尽量避免哦[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]~[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]还有就是如果是列[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]a[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的提纲的话，尽量一个[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]a[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]找[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]4[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]个错误甚至更多，便于当时再好好地发挥一下。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt] [/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books isnot as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watchingtelevision as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 510 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-9-2 15:18:58[/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=7pt]提纲：观点：作为改变现代人生活方式的新技术的代表，[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]TV[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]能使人们更方便和直接地得到资讯和知识。但是[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]TV[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]有其不如书本的地方，使其无法取代书本的重要性。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=darkslateblue]1.TV[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]能使人们更方便和直接地得到资讯和知识。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=darkslateblue]2.[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]书本具有方便容易携带，能随时随地地看和反复看，能比较直接地表达作者的思想。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[color=darkslateblue]3.[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]虽然能把某些书籍的内容拍成电影放到屏幕上，但是它毕竟经过导演和演员主观的再创作，未必能真正反映原作者的思想。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
The industrial revolution completely change human life and hence new tenologie[color=red]s[/color][/size][/font][font="][size=7pt]/technologies[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt] have never been moreimportant than that in any time in the history. Then, as an example oftechnological change[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]/changes[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt] impacting the way inwhich people share and communicate, television is playing a more important rolein people's learning than any other methods, including the our traditionalone--reading books, as the speaker concludes. [b]I concede that in a few respect[color=red]/respects[/color]the newer technology can serve as substitutes for books, nonetheless, [color=red]only poor substitutes for ever when it comes to learning/[/color][/b][/size][/font][b][font=宋体][size=7pt]不理解[/size][/font][/b][b][font=Calibri][size=7pt]= =.[/size][/font][/b][b]
[/b][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
[b]We noted earily that a significant ofmodern science is its contrubution to the rapid pace of modern humanlife. [/b] As an important example of new technology, television s[color=red]t[/color]atisfies the need of [b]mordern[/b] people's rapid pace of obtaining imformation conveniencely[color=red]/in the modern world[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]滞后效果可能更为清晰一些。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]. By merely turning on [color=red]the power/TV[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]就可以了，这个[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]power[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的话感觉很中国[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]- - [/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]and sw[color=red]it[/color]ching differentchannels,[color=red] peopel [/color]can easily and directly obtain [color=red]kenowledge[/color] and experiences from those programs. Also,the television can provide a more accure and convincing record[color=red]/vivid[/color] than books. For example, it is impossible foranyone, no matter how keen an observer and skilled a journalist, to recount incomplete and objective details such events as ceremony of [color=red]fouding [/color]of[color=red] P.R.China in 1949 beijing/in Beijingin 1949[/color]. But now we can watch that on the TV programs.
[b]However, the speaker overlooks a seriesof re[color=red]s[/color]pects that books outweighttelevision programs. [/b]A [color=red]freshold[/color] excellence ofbooks is that books are more portable than TV set, which render we more easierto learn in any time and any occasion. Moreover, books do not break, and theydo not depend on electr[color=red]i[/color]city and b[color=red]a[/color]tteries, or access to airwave or cable[color=red]-[/color]connections. And last but not least, the booksreadily enable readers to review and [color=red]crossreferencematerel/[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]？[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt], while television can not. Thinkabout it, it sounds ironical even[color=red] absure[/color]/[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]？[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]that when we are writting papers and in needof some references in the researching field, we have to [color=red]sit on the television/sit before the television[/color] towatch video record and summarize viewpoints and ideas of the productors./[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]有一些句子意义不太清晰，从某种角度来说，如果有必要的话，可以用一些短句来表达清晰的句子意义可能更好一点。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]
Another compelling argument against the speaker 's claim [color=red]has to do with/[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]？[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]the ideas and informations presented in the video records. One reason of thosewho render television as substitutes for books is idea and stories in the bookssuch as fictions, novels, or other literatures can be interpreted as a new art[color=red]i[/color]stic form of performing--films-- on the screen topresent all the same content in the books. I appreciate these[color=red] kinds of[/color] new recreation, which enable people toobtain new experience and excitement, no less than reading a new book. However,one problem has been ignored that the productors and actors of films have theirown subjectivity, which affects the processes of their [b][color=red]"interpretations[/color]"[/b]of the original [color=red]literture[/color] and even distorts theidea of that. Therefore, it is dubious for the audience to obtain the sameexperience as reading books. [color=red]//[/color][/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]虽然距离一个例子，但是感觉话并没有说完的感觉。最后你既然提到[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]video cannot express thecomplexity of human being[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]’[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]s idea.[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]不如再举一些例子，诸如一些复杂的学术观点等等，而不只是电影，这样将[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]television[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]和[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]human knowledge [/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的问题推理清楚，因为毕竟[/size][/font]
[font=宋体][size=7pt]文学作品不过是[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]knowledge[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的沧海一粟，甚至可以说是非常小的一部分。[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]
In sum, television programs and video records might be more efficiency andeffective than books as a mean of obtaining newly imformation when people areeating breakfast in the living room. However, books facillitate learning inseveral ways that televidion cannot, which render them irreplaceable thoughoutour lifetime of learning.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]一些拼写错误，建议以后可以先自己写完然后贴到[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]word[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]里面去改一下，便于以后改掉一些拼写错误的习惯；[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]一些表达方式感觉比较绕，而不清晰，这个可能需要继续写作和感觉一下，包括看一些北美范文或者是[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]native[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]的语言作品来感受；[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]思路方面其实还可以，只是举例子不等于[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt]reason[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]哦！关键是在阐释例子的时候要及时地回奔主题，包括要推广这个例子带来的结论。这个问题我在倒数第二段写了。[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=7pt]//[/size][/font][font=宋体][size=7pt]加油！[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=7pt][/size][/font]
[[i] 本帖最后由 lachoo 于 2008-9-4 14:24 编辑 [/i]]
摸考的ISSUE3
TOPIC: ISSUE3 - "It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations."WORDS: 527 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-9-3 12:19:06
Nowadanys,as technologies advanced alone with the corresponding economy increased.It is inevitably that our lives emeliorate extremly for a large part,while,the technologies and researches bring us benefits causes trouble too,In this issue,the speaker asserts that it is more important to allocate money for immediate use ,existing problems than to long-term investment that might help our generation,However,when judging which one is important based on the choices presented above,one has to take a balanced view towards it.In my point of view ,both allocate money for immediate use are as important as set// money for long time research.
On the one hand,As our society update swiftly,we appreciate amount of beneficial from our technology and research ,on the opposite side ,problems which is urgent that may threaten our living environmen if leave it unsolved, emergy accordingly.To solve this immediate problem,our government have to allocate money on it,which is necessary required.For example,since,the world evolves in a globle village,the communication and trade between coutries happene frequently,such as to build companies abroad.It is undeniable that the investors of developed countries found industrial manufactuaries in the developing countries //which bring convennience ,technology skill,capital investment, numerouse jobs to the locals ,on the other hand ,those kind of manufactures cause inconvenience too. A case in point is that the water in the near river turns smelly and black with dead fish float on the it.Air pollution was filling in the living atmosphere,deafing noises spread from the machine which lead people to become insomnia.Confonting such urgent problems,our goverment shoul allocate money which is accumulated through imposing taxes from such companies as it mentions above , to solve it.By doing so ,we will live a high quality life with full of assurence which is in favored by most populaces.
On the other hand ,since we live in a harmonious society full of civilization and humanity as well as harmonious,care about our future generation is a virtue that not only cherished by our forefathers but also by our present generation.As we derive advantages from technologies and researches in a lon run,which will help human beings live a better lives on a whole.It is indispensable for us to divide money for long time resaerch in the same time with allocate it for immediate use.For instance,genes //resaerch-hybrid plants,which may cost scientists amount of money and time,but this will help improve our production and change the products ‘quality towards a better one,Still,if it turns out to be an excellent one, our next generation will definitely benefit a lot, Even if it is a great failure,this will leave lessons to the descendants.For instance,the hybrid-rice which not only ravel out the starvation layed in front of people for the moment but also prevent our next generation from famine,is a result of long time research with tremendous time and magnitude endeavor //from Yuannongping,a Chinese agronomy scientist.Another appropriate example is that the research of the space-craft which started with a long history end up with a failure until the first space-craft lauched in 1957 by an astronaut called Gargerian from Russion,from which part is important for the following astronaut to draw lesson though turn out to be a failure.
In conclusion,in order to live a better life for ourselves on this only planet as the same way for our offspring and for the reason of being an part of this only planet,Government should allocate the// same amount of money to our immediate problems as well as our long time resaerch,Only through doing so ,our descendants will surely live a happier life. wangqiuxiang同学：
抱歉，当天因为网络条件问题，没有把改好的发送来。
加油！
TOPIC: ISSUE3 - "It is more importantto allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it onlong-term research that might help future generations."
WORDS: 527 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2008-9-3 12:19:06
Nowadanys, as technologies advanced alone with the corresponding economyincreased.It is inevitably that our lives emeliorate extremly for alarge part,while[color=red],[/color]the technologies and researchesbring us benefits causes trouble too[color=red], [/color]In thisissue,the speaker asserts that it is more important to allocate money forimmediate use ,existing problems than to long-term investment that might helpour generation[color=red], [/color]However,when judging which oneis important based on the choices presented above,one has to take a balancedview towards it.In my point of view ,[b]bothallocate money for immediate use are as important as set// money for long timeresearch.[/b]//[font=宋体]这句话的意思应该是[/font]toallocate money for immediate use is as important as to set money for[font=宋体]。。。[/font]both[font=宋体]不用。。[/font]//[font=宋体]断句请注意，[/font].[font=宋体]和[/font],[font=宋体]都要分清。[/font]
On the one hand, As our society update[color=red]s[/color] swiftly,we appreciate amount of beneficial from our technology and research[color=red] ,/[/color][font=宋体]此部分要断句[/font][color=red]one hand—[/color][font=宋体]〉用[/font][color=red]while[/color][font=宋体]吧（[/font]on the opposite side, problems whichis urgent that may threaten our living environmen[color=red]t[/color]if leave it unsolved, emergy accordingly. To solve this immediate problem, ourgovernment have[color=red]/has[/color] to allocate money on it, whichis necessary required .For example, since[font=宋体]，[/font]the world evolves in[color=red]to[/color] a globle village, the communication and trade between cou[color=red]n[/color]tries happen[color=red]e/[/color][font=宋体]怎么说能似乎不用[/font][color=red]happen[/color][font=宋体]这个词。[/font] frequently, such asto build companies abroad. It is undeniable that the investors of developedcountries found industrial manufact[color=red]ua[/color]ries in thedeveloping countries //which bring [color=red]convennience[/color],technology skil[color=red]ls[/color], capital investment, numerous[color=red]e[/color] jobs to the locals, on the other hand ,those kind ofmanufactures cause inconvenience too. A case in point is that thewater in the near river turns smelly and black with dead fish float on the it. Airpollution was filling in the living atmosphere, deafing[color=red]/deafen[/color][font=宋体]？[/font] noises spread from the machinewhich lead people to become insomnia. Confonting[color=red]/confronted[/color] such urgent problems, our goverment shoul[color=red]d[/color] allocate money which is accumulated through imposingtaxes from such companies as it mentions above , to solve it. By doing so, wewill live a high quality life with full of assurance which is in favored bymost populaces.//[font=宋体]感觉这个例子虽然还可以不不过好像很狭窄，关于环境污染的问题，因为还有一些诸如贫困或者是流行病等棘手的问题往往更加合适，因为突出了该命题的一种争议性。如果用关于环境污然问题的话很容易进入这样的处境，环境污染不仅为了现在的人类，也为了人类的未来子孙，这样这个命题就瓦解了。[/font]I[font=宋体]的目的在于展现出你能够考虑到该问题的复杂性。[/font]
On the other hand, since we live in a harmonious society full of civilizationand humanity as well as harmonious, care about our future generation is avirtue that not only cherished by our forefathers but also by ourpresent generation. As we derive advantages from technologies and researches ina lon[color=red]g[/color] run, which will help human beings live abetter lives on a whole. It is indispensable for us to divide money for longtime[color=red] resaerch [/color]in the same time with allocate itfor immediate use. For instance, genes //[color=red]resaerch[/color]-hybridplants, which may cost scientists amount of money and time, but this will helpimprove our production and change the products ‘quality towards a better one, Still,ifit turns out to be an excellent one, our next generation will definitelybenefit a lot, Even if it is a great failure,this will leave lessons to thedescendants. For instance, the hybrid-rice which not only ravel out thestarvation layed in front of people for the moment but also prevent our nextgeneration from famine, is a result of long time research with tremendous timeand magnitude endeavor //from Yuan nongping, a Chinese agronomy scientist. Anotherappropriate example is that the research of the space-craft which started witha long history end up with a failure until the first space-craft lauched in1957 by an astronaut called Gargerian from Russion, from which part isimportant for the following astronaut to draw lesson though turn out to be afailure.
In conclusion,in order to live a better life for ourselves on this only planetas the same way for our offspring and for the reason of being an part of thisonly planet, Government should allocate the// same amount of moneyto our immediate problems as well as our long time resaerch, Only through doingso ,our descendants will surely live a happier life.
//[font=宋体]建议先放在[/font]word[font=宋体]里面查一下拼写，这样你以后就会注意一些个别词的拼写；面的浪费了[/font]
//[font=宋体]虽然理论立得很清楚，但是还没有点到该命题的复杂性，所以即使是骑墙观点，但是两方面论证感觉都比较薄弱。[/font]
//[font=宋体]你可以再加上一段，推进自己的观点：针对国家发展的需要和现状来进行决策如何分配。最明智的方式是适度。[/font]
//[font=宋体]断句的话注意一下。[/font]
[[i] 本帖最后由 lachoo 于 2008-9-6 23:45 编辑 [/i]] [font=Times New Roman][size=4]感谢天马队长了哈，我修改后马上再发上来！！！先改了A的：
[size=9pt]提纲：[/size][/size][/font]
[size=4][font=Times New Roman][size=9pt]1.[/size][size=9pt]作者假定二次感染一定发生，无论是否[/size][size=9pt]severe[/size]
[/font][/size][size=4][font=Times New Roman][size=9pt]2.[size=9pt]实验存在疑问---不同的测试病人，年龄，性别和健康状况，还有不同的主治医师会对试验结果的公平性产生影响[/size]
[color=darkslateblue]3.[/color][/size][size=9pt]假定二次感染会妨碍[/size][size=9pt]healing[/size][size=9pt]和使用抗生素有效，抗生素副作用？[/size]
[size=3]In the article, the author recommends that all patients with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, since secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. To support his recommendation, the author also cites a preliminary result of s study of two groups of patients with muscle strain. However, the argument’s recommendation relies on a series of problematic assumptions and evidences, which render it unconvincing as it stands. [/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]A threshold problem of the argument is that the author unfairly assumed that every patients who diagnosed with muscle strain would suffer from those secondary infections, no matter whether they are diagnosed with severe muscle strain or merely slight one. It is suspicious for the argument to equate “all the muscle strain” to “only severe ones”. Perhaps patients with slight muscle strain would not causes the same secondary infections as severe does. Moreover, the argument fails to provide information and number of types of the secondary infection. Without any evidence that every cases of patients diagnosed with muscle strain would surely be sure to suffer from such secondary infection, which would keep patients from healing quickly after, the author cannot justifiably conclude that the patient must take the antibiotics as part of their treatment.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The second problem is that the processing and result of study which the author cites is problematic. The author fails to provide us that the two group of patients’ information, such as their ages, gender, degrees of their muscle strain, and the medical care levels of their doctors. Perhaps the patients treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, are much younger than the other group or have healthier condition. Or perhaps since Dr. Newland specializes in sports medicine, he has more experiences on treating patients with muscle strain and preventing them from secondary infections.
What’s more, since argument’s hypothesis is based on the preliminary results of the study, it is highly likely that some other new results would be later conducted. In short, without rolling out these possible scenario, the argument cannot justifiably rely on the preliminary results of the study to support the conclusion that taking antibiotics can prevent patients with muscle strain from secondary infections.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=3]The third problem is that the argument relies on an unfair assumption that the every kinds of secondary infection would keep patients healing and taking the antibiotic can help to the better such situation. However, the author fails to provide any evidences antibiotic is panacea in any kinds of secondary infections, it is entirely possible that patient who take in proper antibiotic would do harm to his healing. Without any evidences and information about the antibiotic, the author cannot easily convince me that taking antibiotics would help patients healing quickly after all muscle strain.[/size]
[size=3] [/size]
[size=10.5pt]In sum, the recommendation for treatment of antibiotics is not well supported. To convince me that taking antibiotics would help patients healing quickly after all muscle strain, the author should provide clear information about the secondary infections cause by different kinds of muscle strain, and provide clear evidence that secondary infections are caused by every kinds of muscle strain and finally keep every patient from healing quickly. To better evaluate the recommendation, I need more information about the pesticide effect and side-effect of the antibiotic. [/size][/font][/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 mlchen850622 于 2008-9-9 17:09 编辑 [/i]] 加油·
回复lachoo
非常感谢点评！页:
[1]