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        Understanding   Engineers - Take One 0 {! X  q7 a( P; Y6 @
              

        Two
# g: ]- I& Q0 v; e+ |' ]- qengineering     students were walking across the campus when one said, 'Where did you get     such a great bike?'' @, K& Z7 ^0 r1 ]! j

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+ }; z4 P. C# r2 l4 v' X    The second     engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own     business when a beautiful woman rode up on this
* D* W5 w# {2 y$ @bike. She threw     the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you     want.'
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    The second     engineer nodded approvingly, 'Good choice; the clothes  ~% L4 O& M" T( G- ]; `
probably wouldn't     have fit.'
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    Understanding     Engineers - Take Two * K1 Z5 [# p3 S) y" S) g4 y8 }% ]
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    To the     optimist,
$ @) q9 Y5 h' p# {the glass is half     full.) a3 O* m  w6 d8 ~" |$ N$ k
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    To the     pessimist," i0 b- a8 P" |% q5 F; B/ N
the glass is half     empty.( q4 G9 Z( Z# [2 G9 D) |

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/ b& T0 H- w8 X5 l8 `+ s+ i    To the     engineer,
0 {# ^3 Z9 X9 a: x" w+ fthe glass is     twice as big as it needs to be.
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0 j; q( ]" g3 `% {: H* g    Understanding     Engineers - Take Three - ?! S7 M# N7 r) z# m
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8 ]$ I6 k; K7 n4 R+ ~- i    A priest, a     doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
4 V+ C$ D2 |+ ?0 H4 x, p, Q. Xparticularly slow     group of golfers.
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" x" W2 d" v- z) E The     engineer fumed,) v9 }! f# L  f5 S% b' N- t
'What's with     these people? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!'
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5 o; h# q- W6 Y# M5 s. S# e    The doctor chimed     in,
, s9 K6 b% `" `2 b6 |'I don't know,     but I've never seen such ineptitude!'% ^- N) L5 A' W  J- h7 s- o6 K

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    The priest said,     'Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a
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* M- Q! _0 ?: }" E    'Hi George,     what's the matter that group ahead of us? They're rather. @% i) ^- {! o( r6 k+ c4 }5 u0 k
slow, aren't     they?'  
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* y3 C7 I: A( M    The green keeper     replied, 'Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their     sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them     play! v- ^% I" X! G( M! _3 J. C
for free     anytime.'
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# x4 r8 ]2 D- w3 O- i+ j: y' a; ]    The group was     silent for a moment. Then the priest said, 'That's so! O& _  P& Z! Z. R4 M$ ?' s5 |8 t, |8 ^
sad. I think I     will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
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0 @7 V* e  G9 |  I$ Q8 r0 L    The doctor said,     'Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
. G! y. a! W/ ^ophthalmologist     friend and see if there is anything he can do for them.'! Q% P* t3 P! w5 x0 N& Y

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    The engineer     said,4 J* t+ ?& a( C! H7 o
'Why can't they     play at night?'
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1 S$ H! O% c9 O/ w2 e/ K4 R! M    Understanding     Engineers - Take Four + D7 k6 Q; r$ o4 @* E, q

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    A man in a hot     air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude% I( o, l: ?; \
and spotted a     woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me, can     you
$ E: W6 ]+ l, J! v+ K. S% U1 qhelp me? I     promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I     am.'
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    The woman below     replied,
, [  D; P2 ~  j' l* x# a, n'You are in a hot     air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between     40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west     longitude.' # L3 f3 W  ~- y  @! d5 k% k
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    'You must be an     engineer,'
) k4 z& Y! Y" I. z+ T7 c5 Isaid the     balloonist.
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! i2 b4 N* f# l    'I am,' replied     the woman,+ u& L" U& s; P0 I! P* i
'How did you     know?'
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    'Well,' answered     the balloonist,'2 ~7 @" r4 q, D8 n
everything you     told me is, technically correct,5 j, m  b6 {0 @% V) \' O
but I have no     idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still     lost.. y+ I3 _  j% Q! k; d0 M- y+ c
Frankly, you've     not been much help so far.'
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    The woman below     responded,. H8 M' j' f# Z5 F3 _! W- j
'You must be in     Management.'
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0 `* j1 ?0 K- X. _/ J5 D4 W    'I am,' replied     the balloonist,6 l9 Q7 l. V: J5 C0 H5 \  v& {
'but how did you     know?'& H& J0 v7 d. a6 r
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1 w4 v& O" M! w2 R. f( U    'Well,' said the     woman,
1 ^. d& I, s* ?( j! A: k) O! `'you don't know     where you are or where you are& ~" j& Q& e; H3 i
going. You have     risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made     a
. r, H% z: Y% E6 Z( Y( Ppromise, which     you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve     your
% ^$ O5 B' S% \3 g6 Pproblems. The     fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but     now, somehow, it's my fault.' : a: s1 u* ]: }( X9 R* e
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1 Y! m& @! I. c  _1 _6 P: G2 k    Understanding     Engineers - Take Five 6 V6 p/ P9 W3 y
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% k; s% r" a! J' W6 @    What is the     difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil, g9 `/ G/ F( n% E1 H2 D, E
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    Mechanical     Engineers build weapons.
7 W/ }, K9 P& @) B' dCivil Engineers     build targets.
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- u6 m7 |9 I6 f" r- H% d7 }    Understanding     Engineers - Take Six
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Normal people ...     believe that if it isn't broken,: z, U% Z& S6 E* f/ p* X( V
don't fix     it.   W4 E, P) r9 c; i# f: B. j

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Engineers     believe that if it
2 i1 r  L, s' z* yisn't broken, it     doesn't have enough features yet. 2 d3 q8 g0 R4 ]+ V$ ~

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# @1 O* L5 o, x0 @2 P3 T    Understanding     Engineers - Take Seven
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    One day, an     engineer was crossing a road when a frog called out to
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    He bent over,     picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and     said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will     stay
  r$ B2 f. h2 B! s. {1 m* Owith you for one     week.'
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6 m5 L0 V6 j6 Y! e& D/ p5 Y6 y5 B    The engineer took     the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned  K7 R( r0 v) ^5 Z4 }
it to the pocket.     The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a     princess,
$ _) U, ~2 u- k( r9 dI'll stay with     you and do ANYTHING you want.'
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    Again the     engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back     into' r, g+ k( M; f6 j: |
his pocket.     Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful     princess;, p3 r$ l. f6 Z% ^' G
I'll stay with     you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'     
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    The engineer     said, 'Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a     talking frog, now that's cool.: [- Q: F+ {2 j$ z& X1 Y! n

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Hello you..
9 N3 R# I# z( @% L" r+ C; Q5 rAre you an engineer?  

hoho~thx for sharing

I like the first one and the last one

haha me too...  interesting..

engineers will turn to managers somehow

% Z7 X/ F! A8 y7 k3 ]9 `l have to say l have no innate skill of learning such things ....
, d3 |, F$ T) ^6 q- P* msuch as math,engineer,architecture.........

Heheheh, engineers