topic: Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endan-   gered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Some people assert that human beings are the host of the earth. Therefore, human’s needs go first at any time. However, I feel comfortable to hold the point that it’s not responsible to say so. Instead, the ecological equilibrium is the first priority. For instance, saving land for protecting the endangered animals plays a more important role than farmland, housing and industry do.

Indeed, human beings are the strongest creature in the world. Technically speaking we can do anything we like to satisfy our needs and desires. Furthermore, as the population has been growing in a tremendous speed people do need more and more farmland, housing, materials, lively goods, and so forth. They really are indispensable for people to continue surviving in the world.

Nevertheless, do those Messrs. Human’s Needs Go First have the sense that human beings, which seems like the so-called ruler of the earth, however, as the other creatures, is just one of the elements of the ecological system. Do they notice that our good lives rely on the other elements of the system? It will totally be a bad news for human beings if any species disappeared from the earth. We have already had such kind of bad news. There is going to be an inevitable disaster if the situation keeps on going worse.

In a word, what we need is long-term development, which means we need to develop continuously but not just the coming couple of decades. We need to think about it for our offspring and even their offspring. It’s our responsibility that to protect the environment so well that they can go on surviving and making development. So I strongly hold the view that saving the land to protect endangered animals in stead of using it as farm land, housing and building factories is a clever choice.

thank you very much!!!

～太晚了，明天给你看吧～

谢谢啦，狠狠修改

Some people assert that human beings are the host of the earth. Therefore, human’s needs go first at any time. However, I feel comfortable to hold the point that it’s not responsible to say so请查一查irresponsible这个词. Instead, the ecological equilibrium is the first priority你只需要说agree or not,不必提出一个新的观点. For instance, saving land for protecting the endangered animals plays a more important role than farmland, housing and industry do.

Indeed, human beings are the strongest creature in the world. Technically speaking‘理论上讲’是这样表达的吗？ we can do anything we like to satisfy our needs and desires. Furthermore, as the population has been growing in a tremendous speed people do need more and more farmland, housing, materials, lively goods, and so forth. They really are indispensable for people to continue surviving in the world.
人类是主宰，需要大量的farms, houses, and so on.这一段的论述跟你的disagree有什么关系？

Nevertheless, do those Messrs.偏词 Human’s Needs Go First have the sense that human beings中式表达, which seems like the so-called ruler of the earth, however, as the other creatures, is just one of the elements of the ecological system. Do they notice that our good lives rely on the other elements of the system? It will totally be a bad news for human beings if any species disappeared from the earth. We have already had such kind of bad news. There is going to be an inevitable disaster if the situation keeps on going worse.
这里没有提到地怎么用及其对动物的影响的关系。

In a word, what we need is long-term development, which means we need to develop continuously but not just the coming couple of decades. We need to think about it for our offspring and even their offspring. It’s our responsibility that to protect the environment so well that they can go on surviving and making development. So I strongly hold the view that saving the land to protect endangered animals in stead of using it as farm land, housing and building factories is a clever choice.

文章在论证上出现了问题。
中式表达比较多。
但是句式做的不错。

改改再来。
You can be better!

在不顾及我的感受、客观实在的原则下，我这篇写作在考场上大概能得多少分？

再次感谢

Indeed, human beings are the strongest creature in the world. Technically speaking‘理论上讲’是这样表达的吗？ we can do anything we like to satisfy our needs and desires. Furthermore, as the population has been growing in a tremendous speed people do need more and more farmland, housing, materials, lively goods, and so forth. They really are indispensable for people to continue surviving in the world.
人类是主宰，需要大量的farms, houses, and so on.这一段的论述跟你的disagree有什么关系？

我写这段话是想先来个让步，说明人类确实在很多方面需要用地，然后下面再论述“但是，保护濒危动物更加重要”，不知道这样写法是否妥当？

引用:

原帖由 fool's 于 2006-12-28 13:08 发表
我写这段话是想先来个让步，说明人类确实在很多方面需要用地，然后下面再论述“但是，保护濒危动物更加重要”，不知道这样写法是否妥当？

一两句带过就可以了，不必花一段的内容来写

修改后的作文，麻烦再请狠狠拍砖。^_^

Some people assert that human beings is the host of the world and people’s needs should go first at any time. However, I think it’s irresponsible and even stupid to say so. Instead, I strongly hold the view that saving the endangered animals is a much more important use of the land.

Human beings can never survive without relying on other creatures in the world. It seems that we’re the ruler of the world. But it’s absolutely superficial to think we’re so strong and clever that we can subsist by ourselves on the earth. As a matter of fact we have mutual effect on animals, plants and other creatures in the world. We have to keep the ecological equilibrium even though people do need more and more crops, houses and goods because of the skyrocketing population. Otherwise, the earth will be ruined in decades.

Many species have permanently disappeared from the earth, which is not a piece of good news for us. If the situation gets worse, our offspring will inherit an earth which is not suitable to live in from us. We mustn’t let it happen because that’s our responsibility. We need the unselfish, continuous development, which means we must use those precious materials such as lands, waters, fuels properly instead of abusing them.

In conclusion, using land on farming, housing or industry is not always the first priority. What the houses, commodities and big factories bring us is just temporary progress and happiness. It’s of greater importance to care about the environment and our friends like animals, which is critical to the long-term development. In this case, our sons and grandsons can have the chance to continue living on this very one earth, which would not happen if the land were used on farming, housing and industry, etc.

Some people assert that human beings is the host of the world and people’s needs should go first human needs comes first at any time. However, I think it’s irresponsible and even stupid to say so. Instead, I strongly hold the view that saving the endangered animals is a much more important use of the land.
保护动物用protect.

Human beings can never survive without relying on去掉，或者把without relying on写的简洁一点 ， other creatures in the world. It seems that we’re the ruler of the world. But it’s absolutely superficial to think we’re so strong and clever that we can subsist by ourselves on the earth. As a matter of fact we have mutual effect on animals, plants and other creatures in the world. We have to keep the ecological equilibrium even though people do need more and more crops, houses and goods because of the skyrocketing population. Otherwise, the earth will be ruined in decades.

Many species have permanently disappeared from the earth, which is not a piece of good news for us这里应该加强语气，突出bad news. If the situation gets worse, our offspring will inherit an earth which is not suitable to live in from us. We mustn’t let it happen because that’s our responsibility. We need the unselfish, continuous development, which means we must use those precious materials such as lands, waters, fuels properly instead of abusing them.
这里，主题句是动物消失是一个坏消息，但是这一句If the situation gets worse, our offspring will inherit an earth which is not suitable to live in from us.把话题扯到子孙上面去了。


In conclusion, using land on farming, housing or industry is not always the first priority. What the houses, commodities and big factories bring us is just temporary progress and happiness. It’s of greater importance to care about the environment and our friends like animals, which is critical to the long-term development. In this case, our sons and grandsons can have the chance to continue简洁点 living on this very one去掉 earth, which would not happen if the land were used on farming, housing and industry, etc.


要让句式的表达更加流畅。
向满分努力！

十分感谢，你们的工作效率实在是高得令人惊讶，这么多人的作文要改。
辛苦辛苦！！
以后还请继续多多帮助！！