79. Your city has decided to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person in your country. Who would you choose? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

    If my city has decided to build a statue to honor a famous person in my country, I would choose a later action movie star, Bruce Lee. He was born in 1940s, and died of a brain edema at age 32 inJuly 1973 in Hongkong , triggering an outpouring of grief among his legions of fans in Asia and elsewhere. During his brilliant martial art career, favored by fans all over the world, he influenced millions of people. His famous movies include “Enter the Dragon” ,”Fists of Fury ”,and “the Game of Death”, etc.
   Bruce Lee was the first Asia superstar known in Hollywood. It was the first time that Americans saw a Chinese who was all steely sinew, threatening stare and cocky, pointed finger. His appearance broke the Americans’ narrow impressions which the Chinese were still stereotyped as meek house servants and railroad workers. His fast kicks andpowerful punches let the world began to realize the Chinese martial art. He was the redeemer in 70s, not only for the Chinese but for all the geeks and dorks and pimpled teenage masses that washed up at the theaters to see his action movies. He was a national hero , with spin-kicks and flying leaps more captivating than any slingshot, and college kids would pin Lee posters next to Che Guevara's.
    In the home of these generations’soul, his martial art has become immortal legend. Although he was gone, his unimaginable violence has never vanished. He is constantly commemoration from time to time, cherishing his incredible action, and his pride and strength appearances in films.His films made him a legend, and are still regularly seen on TV, and continue to have a following all over the world.
    He should be remembered not only because of his action movies, but also because of his great contribution to the martial art. Bruce Lee boosted the popularity of martial arts learning all around the world. He  welcomed ANYONE who was interested in learning what he had to teach. He broke the racial barriers which kungfu was a secret Chinese weapon and was never taught to any non-Chinese person. What’ more, he innovatived Jeet Kun Do as a new style to enrich the martial art.
    In a word, Bruce Lee‘s martial arts legacy and his profound impact upon its culture became a true bridge between East and West.

[ 本帖最后由 yoshiti 于 2006-12-30 22:30 编辑 ]

希望大家多指教,能帮我改下的感激不尽.

If my city has decided to build a statue to honor a famous person in my country中式表达, I would choose a later action movie star, Bruce Lee. He was born in 1940s, and died of a brain edema at age 32 inJuly 1973 in Hongkong , triggering an outpouring of grief among his legions of fans in Asia and elsewhere. During his brilliant martial art career, favored by fans all over the world, he influenced millions of people. His famous movies include “Enter the Dragon” ,”Fists of Fury ”,and “the Game of Death”, etc.运用从句让句子更加漂亮

   Bruce Lee was the first Asia superstar known in Hollywood. It was the first time that Americans saw a Chinese who was all steely sinew, threatening stare and cocky, pointed finger. His appearance broke the Americans’ narrow impressions which the Chinese were still stereotyped as meek house servants and railroad workers. His fast kicks andpowerful punches let the world began to realize the Chinese martial art. He was the redeemer in 70s, not only for the Chinese but for all the geeks and dorks and pimpled teenage masses that washed up at the theaters to see his action movies. He was a national hero , with spin-kicks and flying leaps more captivating than any slingshot, and college kids would pin Lee posters next to Che Guevara's.
    In the home of these generations’soul, his martial art has become immortal legend. Although he was gone, his unimaginable violence has never vanished. He is constantly commemoration from time to time, cherishing his incredible action, and his pride and strength appearances in films.His films made him a legend, and are still regularly seen on TV, and continue to have a following all over the world.
    He should be remembered not only because of his action movies, but also because of his great contribution to the martial art. Bruce Lee boosted the popularity of martial arts learning all around the world. He  welcomed ANYONE who was interested in learning what he had to teach. He broke the racial barriers which kungfu was a secret Chinese weapon and was never taught to any non-Chinese person. What’ more, he innovatived Jeet Kun Do as a new style to enrich the martial art.
    In a word, Bruce Lee‘s martial arts legacy and his profound impact upon its culture became a true bridge between East and West.开头并没有提到他的武术
1.楼主的词汇量不错
2.句式表达水平需要提高，特别是从句的运用不够灵活。大量的出现he,his
3.中式表达要注意
划线的词和红色标注的，请认真查辞典。

谢谢
你有权提出你的问题或者对批注进行质疑

[ 本帖最后由 benz2015 于 2007-1-1 08:37 编辑 ]

LZ的词汇让我看着眼花缭乱的~
我什么什么也要写写这种文章的了~
一起加油吧~

引用:

原帖由 ZOE.COOPER 于 2007-1-1 09:17 发表
LZ的词汇让我看着眼花缭乱的~
我什么什么也要写写这种文章的了~
一起加油吧~

不需要用华丽的词藻

简介明了，灵活多变
老美写文章讲实用，不是讲排场

引用:

原帖由 benz2015 于 2007-1-1 09:20 发表



不需要用华丽的词藻

简介明了，灵活多变
老美写文章讲实用，不是讲排场

我说的这种文章是非A OR B的文章~
糟糕~没有说清楚~
不好意思啊~

你不是说LZ的词汇让我看着眼花缭乱的~