Which is more important? History or Science?

  Academic subject can be departed into two main parts, the Science subject and the Arts subject. Both two parts have a significant impact to people’s future life. To determine whether one is more important than the other, we have to look into further details.
  It was said that those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. Truly, through the study of history, one can not only gain a great deal of information about how did people talk or how did people behave in the past, but he can also figure out whether those words or behaviors were appropriate to those situations. In this way he will be able to know what is right and then conduct according to it. Similarly, he may also know what the error is and then avoid to behave like that. For example, when people get an unacquaintance task to disposal, perhaps the most wise thing to do is to take the history as a reference to study how did people in the past deal with this appointment. In this way, people will make less mistakes and do a better job than even before.
  The Science subject, on the other hand, is also necessary to people’ success. It can active people’s mind. Through studying the mathematics, for instance, one’s brain has to been well trained to solve numerous mathematical puzzles. This demands him to be capable of acute enough to deal with massive, unlogical, chaos, yet still remain-ordered problems. Once he has in charged with the ability of arrangement through the practice of mathematical problems, he will be able to do various other similar or even more complex works in the future. No one can deny it is essential to people’s career success.
  To conclude, the study of history and the study of Science are equally important to people’s achievement, for they represent two essential abilities that lead to success: making fewer mistakes and be organized.


加下划线的是 我发现自己只会用 in this way ，几乎不会用别的了，word里的同义词自然是不能用，所以求助多几个这样的连接词，谢谢

[ 本帖最后由 jennychuu 于 2007-1-4 15:32 编辑 ]

拙见如下：）

Academic subject can be departed into two main parts, the Science subject and the Arts subject. Both two parts have a significant impact to people’s future life. To determine whether one is more important than the other, we have to look into further details.（表达没什么错误，但是觉得太平淡了，开头不够吸引人）
  It was said that those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. Truly, through the study of history, one can not only gain a great deal of information about how did people talk or how did people behave in the past, but he can also figure out whether those words or behaviors were appropriate to those situations. In this way he will be able to know what is right and then conduct according to it. Similarly, he may also know what the error is and then avoid to behave（貌似是avoid doing？不确定^_^） like that. For example, when people get an unacquaintance task to disposal, perhaps the most wise （wise的最高级不能用the most）thing to do（to do 多余） is to take the history as a reference to study how did people in the past deal with this appointment. In this way, people will make less mistakes and do a better job than even before.
  The Science subject, on the other hand, is also necessary to people’ success. It can active people’s mind. Through studying the （the可以去掉）mathematics, for instance, one’s brain has to been （be）well trained to solve numerous mathematical puzzles（从你的句意，我觉得句首的Through studying应该改为，To study mathematics well ）. This demands him to be capable of acute enough （这里缺一个名词） to deal with massive, unlogical, chaos（这里缺一个名词，too）, yet still remain-ordered problems. Once he has(is) in charged （charge）with the ability of arrangement （the ability to do sth）through the practice of mathematical problems（practising the mathematical problems）, he will be able to do various other similar （这里读者有点不顺）or even more complex works in the future. No one can deny it（that） is essential to people’s career success.
  To conclude, the study of history and the study of Science are equally important to people’s achievement, for they represent two essential abilities that lead to success: making fewer mistakes and be organized. （结尾尚可）

修改意见：字数貌似不够，有些表达中式化，某些句子逻辑混乱，说理性不足，应加强词汇尤其是词组及连接词的学习。加油！

[ 本帖最后由 Nashly 于 2007-1-1 19:36 编辑 ]

辛苦了,猫猫真厉害

benz过奖啦！blush///

辛苦了，谢谢Nashly ~~