Finding themselves fully entangled in those tough, routine, mechanical, tedious things as well as holding the view of higher premium on health with better income, People rely on games for strengthening their body and for escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Games, as an indispensable part of people's life, benefit us both in bodies as well as in spirits. Various types of games, however, are adopted by different ages due to their specific interests and requirements.

       As for the children, they play games mainly to master essential capacities for their future study and work. Parents deliberately arrange some activities to enhance their child's wanting competences. Push a shopping cart, for example, teaches a toddler to balance his/her weight and to use his/her legs to support his/her body which can build up children's gross motor and fine motor abilities; simple singsong or rhyming games aid children to strengthen the ability to use language; even a pick-up football game help them learn systems of social rules. All of the above are simple games that are not suitable for adults.

       Situations in the adults vary, they trend to engage in more complicated and exciting games to diversify their live experiences. For a concrete example, "Role Playing Game", where each of the player personate a role in the game and visualize the scene as the storyline goes on. they should present as another person according to the game rule apart from themselves and would come through a lot of surprises as the scenario continues. By playing this kind of games, they can experience various styles of lives which they can not make it by our own life and have a relaxation after their heavy work.
        
       In conclusion, both adults and children learn how to control themselves, how to work in a team as well how to tolerate their frustrations around other through sports games such as football, basketball. These, of course, are abilities that are extremely important for adults well, but, children have more to learn.

请高手们多多指教， many thanks!

Games are as important for adults as they are for children.

Finding themselves fully entangled in those tough, routine, mechanical, tedious things as well as holding the view of higher premium on health with better income, People rely on games for strengthening their body and for escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Games, as an indispensable part of people's life, benefit us both in bodies as well as前面有both了 in spirits. Various types of games, however, are adopted by different ages due to their specific interests and requirements.
       As for the children, they play games mainly to master essential capacities for their future study and work. Parents deliberately arrange some activities to enhance their child's wanting competences. Push a shopping cart, for example, teaches a toddler to balance his/her weight and to use his/her legs to support his/her body which can build up children's gross motor and fine motor abilities; simple singsong or rhyming games aid用在这里不当 children to strengthen the ability to use language even a pick-up football game help them learn systems of social rules. All of the above are simple games that are not suitable for adults.
       Situations in the adults vary, they trend to engage in more complicated and exciting games to diversify their live experiences. For a concrete example, "Role Playing Game", where each of the player personate a role in the game and visualize the scene as the storyline goes on. they should present as another person according to the game rule apart from themselves and would come through a lot of surprises as the scenario continues. By playing this kind of games, they can experience various styles of lives which they can not make it by our own life and have a relaxation after their heavy work.
        
       In conclusion, both adults and children learn how to control themselves, how to work in a team as well how to tolerate their frustrations around other through sports games such as football, basketball. These, of course, are abilities that are extremely important for adults well, but, children have more to learn.

1.注意entangle的用法
2.as well as 在一段里面出现了两次
3.  As for the children, they play games mainly to master essential capacities for their future study and work.这可能吗?
4.查查 deliberately 的用法.
5.wanting 的用法
6.situations in the adults vary => when it comes to the adults, the situation is quite different.
7.

game对children的作用已经很明朗,建议你重点写对adults的作用
对children的作用不需要写那么多
文章的重点不明显

你有在文中提到teamwork 吗？

[ 本帖最后由 benz2015 于 2007-1-2 18:46 编辑 ]

实在是太谢谢啦，我改改在来！