Based on the benefit of the standing of the shopping center,I  totally support  the plan.Not only can  the shoping center bring us much convenient,but also contribute to the development of the economic in the community.

The shopping center's establish will,to some extent ,offer us much convenient.We don not have to go a large distance to purchase goods,instead we can easily choose what we want near the place we live.Especially when the situation is urgent that we need the product as soon as possible,the shopping center's function  is prett obvious.Because it has the advantange of geography  for it is located near the place we live.Thus they can satisfy  this special need.In addition ,the standing of the shopping center will lessen the limitation of the shopping time to us.As long as  the shipping center is at service,we do not have to worry about the buying.If the center was not founded,may be we have to choose other places to order goods,in this situation the time is a factor which we need to consider, for maybe when we get there,the store has already closed.

From the economical point of view,the shopping center will raise the developpment of the community.Because it will offer a large number of opportunities for the unemployees who can look for the job in there.As many people can not find a job,the shopping center's standing will brinig them hope for it will employ workers after its opening. In addition,it will increase the income of the tax.In general the plan will fasten the developpment of economic in the community.

Moreover, with the standing of the shopping center, a center of entertainment center will form.After the establish of the shopping center,a series of stores will be founded around it,such as the restaurant,the movie theter.People will have another choice for entertainment,they can go shopping in there.When they get tired ,they can eat at the restaurant near the shopping center.If they want to see a movie,it is also pretty convinient.There is a case in point,the KFC is usually founded near a shopping center,for it will bring a large amount of customs for him.Thus people can enjoy themselves when they go to the shopping center.

After considering the above advantages of the standing of the shopping center,as far as i am concered,the plan to build it will surely bring great benefits.

帮忙看看吧

引用:

原帖由 suan 于 2007-1-2 22:32 发表
帮忙看看吧

Jimmy对耽误你的时间感到很抱歉！
明天给你看

Based on the benefit of the standing of the shopping center,I  totally support  the plan.Not only can  the shoping center bring us much convenient, but also contribute to the development of the economic in the community.

economic in the community.   economic是一个很宏观的词

The shopping center's establish will,to some extent ,offer us much convenient.We don not have to go a large distance to purchase goods,instead we can easily choose what we want near the place we live.Especially when the situation is urgent that we need the product as soon as possible,the shopping center's function  is prett obvious.Because it has the advantange of geography  for it is located near the place we live.Thus they can satisfy  this special need.In addition ,the standing of the shopping center will lessen the limitation of the shopping time to us. As long as  the shipping center is at service,we do not have to worry about the buying.If the center was not founded,may be we have to choose other places to order goods,in this situation the time is a factor which we need to consider, for maybe when we get there,the store has already closed.

复制内容到剪贴板

代码:

near the place we live 这种表述不准确
geography 用的不恰当
lessen the limitation of the shopping time to us直接写给了我们更多的自由时间去购物.

From the economical point of view,the shopping center will raise the developpment of the community.Because it will offer a large number of opportunities for the unemployees who can look for the job in there应该描述商店建立前的样子,.As many people can not find a job,the shopping center's standing will brinig them hope for it will employ workers after its opening. In addition,it will increase the income of the tax.In general the plan will fasten the developpment of economic in the community.

raise用的不恰当,用help

Moreover, with the standing of the shopping center, a center of entertainment center will form.After the establish of the shopping center,a series of stores will be founded around it,such as the restaurant,the movie theter.People will have another choice for entertainment,they can go shopping in there.When they get tired ,they can eat at the restaurant near the shopping center.If they want to see a movie,it is also pretty convinient.There is a case in point,the KFC is usually founded near a shopping center,for it will bring a large amount of customs for him.Thus people can enjoy themselves when they go to the shopping center.
这一段,跟本文提出的论点没有关系.
建议你在第一段的文章主题句里面加上这一段的观点


After considering the above advantages of the standing of the shopping center,as far as i am concered,the这句话太罗嗦 plan to build it will surely bring great benefits.


standing of the center ,stand可以这样用吗?

有些表达显得很生硬.加油
you can be better.

我的感觉文章开头和结尾写的不够好
我试着重写如下：
(开头)
Recently，arguments about whether a shopping center should be established in my community is very hot. Some people may is against the plan of establishing a shopping center in our neighborhood, because they worry that environment will be damaged. Must establishing a shopping center spoil environment? My answer is No.
So I am for the plan.

(结尾)
Although establishing a shopping center may effects environment around it, we can still protect our environment as long as we take some measures. I believe that economic development and environment protection is not absolutely conflict. Both establishing a shopping center has advantages above mentioned and environment can is protected, why not to be for establishing a shopping center in our neighborhood?

另外，是a large distance 还是a long distance?

是 a long distance.

1.你写的开头， 建议在 in my community后面加 or not.
   Some people may is against 是什么
   Must establishing a shopping center spoil environment? My answer is No.这种方式最好不用
2. take some measures.＝> take some effective measures.

引用:

Both establishing a shopping center has advantages above mentioned and environment can is protected

什么意思
   why not ....这个句子，注意，这里不是在讲演。